Teaching me to be

I have been blessed by illness this last month. Blessed is a strange word to use because it's been fairly horrid. I've been plagued by a sinus headache thing, which has led on to other cold-like symptoms. It's been quite miserable frankly as most of the month seems to have been me preserving energy for work or duties and little else. I have been taking painkillers almost every day and suffering with a constant aching pressure around and behind my eyes. It's been lonely and depressing as it's not only stopped me from spending time with people, at times it has affected my capacity to think and relate to others. I've also felt really bad trying to explain how I've been feeling, often I've wanted to ask for help and then I've felt like I'm whining or self-obsessed. I have felt this because I have been aware of so many around me who have also been suffering recently. In short it's given me a taste of what it must be like to be permanently unwell. I feel this has been valuable because it has really expanded my compassion for those who face long-term illness. Actually my own illness hasn't been that bad in the perspective of a person in this situation. I'm grateful for God expanding my understanding for the people around me who might be facing ongoing problems with their health. 

In particular though God has blessed me with a crucial message that is the need to step back from all the things I'm striving to achieve for Him and to simply learn to be. To be Laura. Not to do all the things that I think make me Laura. To know that I can bear his likeness simply by existing. To know that I am loved as I am, not for what I do. To know that I can trust Him with my life. Essentially I guess he has been teaching me Psalm 46 v 10: 'Be still and know that I am God' which can also be translated as 'Cease striving and know that I am God'. It's an encouragement on the surface to make time to be quiet and still in our lives, but more than that it's about trusting in God and his goodness. Trusting that he wants the best for me or as that line in the hymn 'Amazing Grace' says: 'The Lord has promised good to me'.

Trust is the key thing. Trust is ultimately dependant though on the belief that who we are trusting is indeed trustworthy and loving. Well what better day than this to reflect on that. The day that remembers how our God faced the worst imaginable situation ever for us. It's hard to truly appreciate and I don't think we ever will understand it but the truth is he died for us because he loves us. The amazing thing is we don't need to understand it, we don't even need to feel the sorrow that would make our hearts ache if we were really to comprehend what he went through. We only need to receive his love and sacrifice for us. 

In Isaiah 30 v 15 God says:

In repentance and rest is your salvation,

In quietness and trust is your strength.

Hope you are having a good Good Friday.    

 

    

A Poem for the year

2013

Golden light streaming through

Love came down here, for you

Lift your face towards this bliss

Feel the warmth of his kiss!

A poem I wrote at the start of the year. One day I'd been in my bedroom and the sun had started streaming through and was particularly beautiful and golden, especially nice for winter! I believe God wants us to receive his love simply as you would the warm sunshine, that is by just turning your face and feeling its warmth. In other words, putting the focus on him and his goodness rather than trusting in our own goodness. This is what real Christian faith is about, simply receiving what God has already achieved for us in dying for us. 

Numbers 6 v 25: '...the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you.'  

Welcome to my blog

Hello there.

Welcome to my project for 2013. It is to write, whenever I can, about the things that I feel God lays on my heart concerning his love, what it means to know Him and particularly what it means to be beautiful in his sight. It is primarily aimed at women but I kinda would like guys to have a look occasionally too because I hope a lot of the stuff I post will be relevant both to men and women. It's just that I feel God has placed a particular calling on my heart to minister to other women. I especially want to help them embrace the beauty God has given them. The title 'Unfading beauty' comes from this verse in the Bible:

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewellery and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 1 Peter 3 v 3-4

Now don't get Peter, who wrote this, wrong. I don't think he is saying there is anything wrong with curling your hair or wearing a bit of bling or you know generally making yourself presentable. Rather he is saying that true beauty is what comes from within and shines out to make you lovely on the outside too. Or as the wonderful Roald Dahl put it:

A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely. 

Importantly, Peter says it is who you are in God's sight that matters. This world is often mercilessly cruel in its standards of unachievable perfection but God says that you, as you are, are 'fearfully and wonderfully made' (Psalm 139 v 14). At the end of Shrek, when Fiona hurt and confused because she is still an ogre even after her spell has finally been broken, questions: 'But I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful'. Shrek's reply to her is I believe the same as God's reply to you: 'But you are beautiful!'

So enjoy!